At least that’s what sports teams claim after a string of losses.

And that is where I am now. After a summer of crushing lows, I am facing the darker seasons at a deficit.

That pesky storm cloud hovers, coloring everything I do. It’s hard to remain optimistic when the universe keeps flipping you the bird.

It doesn’t help that the weather reminds me of my bi-polar aunt- sunny and cheerful one day, then lashing out with rain that seem to last for weeks, dissipating like nothing ever happened, leaving you to dry out asking, what the hell was that?

My riding ring is covered in grass and weeds. My paddocks and pastures are overgrown muck pits. Even if I had a perfectly manicured ring or dry trails, all of my horses are temporarily retired.

The horses don’t seem to mind, though they’ve been trapped inside for more days than I care to count.

The world keeps turning, and no matter how off-kilter and damaged I feel, shit needs doing.

But I’m not going to lie, it’s hard.

I love all rollercoasters except the emotional kind, and I am more than ready to get off this particular ride.

So, I will.

I have started a Substack, which will function as my writing life newsletter. You can find it here, if you want to subscribe.

Here on my website, I will continue to post my more personal anecdotes and thoughts and trials and achievements.

My world is a bit chaotic right now as I reorganize and reassess and recalibrate my goals. (Doesn’t that sound poetic? In reality, I’m doing a lot of binge reading, online jigsaw puzzles, and wandering around in a fog.)

I’m still writing, still dreaming, and learning.

I have a great idea for NaNoWriMo, which triggers my inner procrastinator into action – I have to finish the current draft of my WIP before I start a shiny new one.

Bear with me, it’s all under construction. I’m finding new roads, playlist blasting, and trying to enjoy the journey.